She totally nailed it. It's possible to love your children with all your heart without making them the be all and end all of your existence. Women don't exist solely to be mothers. We should not define ourselves by our role as a mother, or not a mother if that's the case. The world should not spin around our children. Yes, we love them, yes, we feed, water, shelter and pay out the butt for them, but there is more to our lives than our children.
They need to see mom taking care of mom, dad taking care of dad, mom and dad having time without children, mom and dad as a separate entity, while also their biggest fans, their anchors, the ones they can always depend on. Otherwise, what you'll have on your hands are spoiled brats who think they make the sun rise and set.
Pssst...! They don't.
I put this book on interlibrary loan when it was still on order at my library, and it came in before I expected it. Though it's jumping its place in line, I let it. And boy howdy, I'm glad I did.
More later ...
Ayelet Waldman. More than just Michael Chabon's wife, too.